Second Thank Yous

“The advantage,” he said, “of running a kinky porn site is that no one cares whether or not you have sex at work.”

I raised my eyebrow at him, “and I suppose it’s your duty to make sure that all of the equipment stays in working order?”

“Exactly. I’m glad you understand.” He started walking towards me with a look on his face that was either going to get him jumped or send me running towards the hills.

I stood my ground.

“You,” he continued, reaching towards me and beginning to undo the buttons on my dress, “are wearing far too much clothing to help me in my maintenance tasks.”

“I’m so sorry,” I replied, “I didn’t realize I had been recruited for janitorial duty.”

“Not so much janitorial,” he said, ripping the dress the rest of the way off and making me gasp, ” as high maintenance.”

I started to protest and had the air knocked out of me as he flung me over his shoulder and carried me naked down the stairs.

“I think you can manage it.” he said and I cursed to myself as ribald catcalls from the few employees who still remained at work followed us from his office down to the basement.

“I am not high maintenance,” I said as he dumped me onto the cold concrete floor and went to rummage around in a supply closet.

“Of course you’re not, darling,” he responded without bothering to look at me where I sat pouting on the ground. “Be a dear and make yourself comfortable on that spanking bench while I find the equipment I’m looking for.”

I stood up, walked over to where he was rummaging in the closet, and bit him on the ass.

“OW!” he cried, turning around to look at me in surprise and consternation.

“I am not high maintenance.” I repeated, smiling at him in a way that I knew would simply egg him on.

“You are also not obedient,” he responded mimicking my tone. “Would you like it better if I grabbed you by the hair, dragged you over to that bench, forced you down on it, and tied you so tightly you won’t be able to move?”

“Why do you think I bit you on the ass?” I answered in my best innocent tone, and squeaked and protested in amused and feigned outrage as he proceeded to do just that.

Tied to the bench, legs spread, ass in the air, with a lovely view of nothing even remotely interesting, I listened as he went back to rummaging through the closet.

“You’re the boss,” I commented, “You’d think you’d know where things were.”

“I do,” was the mumbled reply, “when other people put them back where they belong.” I heard a crash and a curse and then the sound of someone digging himself out from under a pile of what I could only imagine were either chains or a nest of pissed off metal snakes. “Oh! There they are.”

My view changed to one of his leather clad feet and denim covered legs. In his left hand was a group of what looked like rubber covered C clamps of various sizes.

“What,” I said, “You’re worried the furniture is coming apart and have to hold it together with those before you play with me?”

“Oh no, my sarcastic little moppet,” he replied, “I have something much better in mind for these.”

Dumping all but one of the clamps on the floor he continued to talk while unscrewing the device he still held to open it wider. “I remembered that you really like pressure point play, and I thought to myself ‘How can I hurt her horribly without having to tire out my hands the way I did last time.’ Then it occurred to me that we had these. I don’t think anyone’s had the chance to test them out yet. You’ll have to let me know how they work.”

At that point he stepped up to me and began prodding the muscles of my arm looking for the place that, when he pushed on it, would make me gasp. Finding it, he took the clamp he had just opened and screwed it down tight enough to produce amazing waves of pain.

“How’s that?” he asked.

I moaned.

“I rather thought you’d enjoy it,” he continued, “weird little masochist that you are,” and then he continued to place various other clamps on my other arm, my legs, and my ears until I was overwhelmed with the constant, unrelenting pain.

It was incredibly intense, but blissfully so. With no impact to shy away from, I could just let the waves of agony wash over me and take me out of my head.

I zoned out for a while, simply enjoying the sensations, and then started back to myself when he knelt down before me, grabbed me by the hair, and raised my head to look in my eyes.

“Are you enjoying yourself, little girl?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Would you like more?”

I nodded again.

“Would you like me to fuck you?”

I nodded vigorously.

“Good,” he said, unzipping his pants and pulling on a condom, “then suck my cock.”

I moaned around his cock as he held my head and pushed it deep in my throat. It was an awkward angle, but the combined motivation of the pain and the thought of him fucking me the way I so desperately wanted drove me on. I choked and gagged, but kept working on his gorgeous cock, hoping that my efforts would be rewarded, and they were.

“Gods,” he said, “I think I’m going to have to fuck you now,” and he walked around behind me to stand between my spread legs.

Reaching his hand out, he found me already wet and ready, and when he asked, “Do you want me to remove the clamps before I fuck you?” I shook my head.

“Do you want me to make them tighter?”

I hesitated, and then nodded.

“Good girl,” he said, and, after tightening the clamps on my arms to the point of agony, pushed himself inside.

I moaned, as I always do, at the feeling of his cock inside me, rubbing against me, bringing me wave after wave of pleasure. The combination with the pain was incredible.

“You like it, don’t you,” he said, “when I fuck you like this? When I bend you over, hurt you, make you beg for it, and then use you like the series of holes you are?”

“Yes,” I moaned and pushed back against him as far at the rope would allow.

He continued talking while he fucked me, his words and the sensations pushing me closer and closer to orgasm, “You’re just a little slut, aren’t you? You’d probably love it if I turned the cameras on, and invited my employees down to give me a little show.”

I whimpered a little at the thought.

“Just think about it. All of them looking at you, seeing you like this. Using you, two or three at a time. You couldn’t do anything about it, tied down the way you are, and you’re such a little whore, I bet you’d like it. One guy in your mouth,” he reached around to start playing with my clit, “another using this soaking wet cunt, and maybe a big fat dildo up your ass”

I orgasmed at the thought of it, jerking the ropes tight around me, and then collapsing back onto the bench as he continued to fuck me, saying, “I could sell the tapes all over the Internet, and invite strangers to come use you anyway they liked.” He increased his pace, “Or I could just hurt you more,” he finished, and, grasping the front of my pubis so hard I knew I would have bruises for a week, fucked me to completion.

After we both got our breath back, he released the clamps, untied me, and carried me over to the black leather couch that sat in the corner of the dungeon, sitting down on it and then pulling me into a little ball in his lap.

With his hand stroking my hair, we sat in contented silence for what could have been minutes, or could have been hours, until I finally got my voice back.

“Just so you know,” I muttered sleepily, nuzzling my head into his chest, “I think they work.”

“I noticed,” he responded, cuddling me closer. “I was just wondering what we should test next.”

Note: I have no idea if this would work in real life, but it was inspired by a torture scene in a science fiction book I just read where the bad guy screwed clamps onto a series of pressure points to give intense pain without causing any damage. I really like pressure point play and the scene made me want to experiment… or get violently beaten and fucked… or something.

 


Ruthlessly Opportunistic

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I enjoy being taken advantage of. In fact, I must admit to taking unabashed pleasure in what I like to think of as Opportunistic Top Syndrome*

What is OTS? This condition, heretofore undescribed in the medical literature, refers to the propensity of certain individuals to take shameless advantage of pre-existing bruises in order to inflict the maximum amount of pain with the minimum amount of effort. In certain circles this condition is also known as LTS – lazy top syndrome – but current research has suggested that this moniker may actually discourage such forms of abuse instead of simply egging on the individuals in question to inflict additional damage, as was initially reported by earlier observers of this phenomenon (personal communication A.N. Mous.)

Quite interestingly, OTS is often observed in individuals who are not, otherwise, terribly inclined to the infliction of painful stimuli (referred to, in these cases, as sOTS – solely opportunistic topping syndrome). Apparently the fact that the damage has already been done induces a sort of disinhibition cascade that encourages Emphatic Poking accompanied by the occasional Evil Grin. This phenomenon has initiated several debates as to whether the sOTS individuals are, in fact, not actually normally interested in the generation of pain or are simply unwilling to do their own dirty work (see online responses to: Cookie, IM et al (2006)”The Switchy Snarkfest,” BDSM Quarterly 42(1):37-49.) More charitably inclined researchers have put forth the hypothesis that sOTS is actually far more closely related to Reaction Junkieism than OTS. Reaction junkies are thought to be aroused less by the infliction of pain than by the elicitation of a strong reaction – which can also be obtained through sensual or sexual stimuli. Although the origins of the sOTS phenomenon would seem of little relevance to its victims, they speak to the overall levels of sexual sadism present in the population, a statistic which is of great interest indeed.

Additional research is clearly needed in this area, not only to further elucidate the nature of the previously described conditions but to explore other related syndromes including the insidious MMS – masturbatory masochistic squirming – often found in the individuals who are the primary victims of OTS and sOTS sufferers. Early signs of MMS include choosing to sit on unpadded surfaces when comfortable chairs are available, strategic self-poking, and excessively vigorous leaning on solid objects. If you see an individual suffering from these disturbing predilections, remember that they need your help. Be wary, however, as it has been suggested that MMS is actually the form of OTS seen in carriers who, for some reason, are not fully susceptible to the disease’s pernicious influence.

The author is still extremely well supplied with the bruises necessary for continuing her studies of OTS, and she intends to pursue her research while doing so remains practical. She emphatically denies, however, suffering from any form of MMS and insists that all fidgeting merely reflects an underlying psychological resistance to remaining immobile.

Study subjects are being earnestly recruited. Volunteer screening will be done via e-mail. Compensation is negotiable.

*Ooops. I seem to have found my digression far more entertaining to pursue than my original point.

 


The Final Inventory…

I was thoroughly and soundly beaten in honor of the Dreaded Birthday. I do believe the final inventory was as follows.

  1. A beating, up to my birthday and back, mostly with a razor strop
  2. Spanking on my pubic bone up to my birthday
  3. The Fibonacci spanking
  4. The caning that was probably 4-5 times my birthday with the creative counting (fun!)
  5. Light thwappings upon the arm to my birthday
  6. A hysterically funny beating with 5 different implements of destruction (my birthday was conveniently divisible by 5)
  7. A slightly nerve-wracking singletailing to my birthday
  8. A really relaxing flogging (LOVE that flogger) and singletailing to, I think, well above my birthday, but I stopped counting at that point. (Followed, immediately, by a remarkably competent singletailing by someone who, if I understood things correctly, had never hit someone with a singletail before… but that wasn’t a birthday beating so it doesn’t get its own bullet point on this particular list.)
  9. Being knife scored to my birthday and then beaten, on the thigh, with the flat of a long knife/short sword to slightly more than my birthday (maybe 1.5x? I was kind of spacey at that point so I’m not really sure how much of a pain in the ass I was being.)

I think that’s the whole list of Birthday Doom. Other things happened as well, many of them quite delightful, quite painful, quite ridiculous, or all of the above, and some of them will certainly make it into this blog, but I wanted to memorialize the Birthday Beatings before I forgot any of them (I hope I managed… I have a terrible feeling I forgot someone, since I’ve already had to edit twice) so that if I feel a little bit down on the actual day I can look back on this weekend and get all smiley. Or, honestly, sit down on something solid and smile, because I can’t imagine I’m going to be all healed by then. I’m so incredibly glad that I canceled my doctors’ appts. tomorrow. I am shades of purple and stripey all over that make me incredibly happy, but would probably cause my gynecologist to make notes in my file suggesting I need to be committed.

 


Cravings

I was thinking yesterday that what I really wanted was a good, old-fashioned, over-the-knee spanking.

You know the kind I mean. The kind fetishized by endless erotic stories and people who prefer a bit of role play with their sex. The skirt up, knickers down, hit her ’til her bottom’s bright red kind of spanking. The grab her by her hair, throw her over your knee, and make her cry kind of spanking. The “you’ve been a bad little girl and now you’re going to make up for it” kind of spanking.

In other words, the utterly-ridiculous “we’re over-playing the drama to see who bursts into hysterical laughter first” kind of spanking.

I haven’t had a scene like that in ages. I miss making big innocent eyes and ridiculous statements at a top who is trying to keep a straight face. I miss being the destroyer of dignity, peace, and quiet. I miss running shrieking from someone and ending up collapsed underneath them alternating between hysterical giggles and loud “OW!!!”s

I haven’t been a big, bratty pain in the ass during a scene in ages. For much of the past 6 months I’ve been in a very submissive headspace when it comes to BDSM. Not that I’ve stopped feeling that way, far from it, but I do sometimes long to return to my kinky roots… where my primary identity was that of a smart-ass masochist. I’m just in the mood to play right now. Can I help it if my idea of fun usually ends up with bruises and bite marks?

On second thought… maybe that isn’t the kind of scene that the OTK people are normally talking about. Do most of their fantasies start with the scantily clad submissive saying…

“Sir, I’ve been terribly terribly bad. I performed a statistical analysis that is supposed to only be done on a random population on one that was selected by convenience sample. My sins are unforgivable. I need to be punished.”

 


Laughter and Pain

It’s not so much that I’m a bad submissive, it’s that I’m a submissive who, unless she’s deeply into subspace*, still maintains her perverse sense of humor.

Which means it’s really hard not to make faces.

Now, I’m not one for playing with the Lord Master ManDom McDomly Dom types of the world. Frankly, most of the time I bottom instead of submitting, and my main criteria for anything other than a quick pick-up scene is a sense of humor. If you’re not going to laugh while you’re hitting me, or you’re going to be offended if I laugh while you’re hitting me, then you’re not going to be hitting me.

But even when I sub, which is not the complete rarity that it used to be, I sometimes have trouble turning off my smart-ass side completely. Yes, I’ll follow orders. Yes, I’ll happily provide non-sexual service (especially since I almost never negotiate to provide sexual service). But god knows that if you say something that’s going to make me want to roll my eyes and glare at you I probably will. I know it’s not exactly respectful, but mockery is a sincere form of flattery, right? Isn’t it? Maybe? Ok. Maybe not. But I’m realistic about it. If I make faces at a dominant for how he or she is hurting me, I expect that I’m going to get hurt worse.

Both times that I have subbed in recent memory it has been for silly dominant sadists who induce eye-rolling in abundance. Doesn’t mean they’re not effective (as either dominants or sadists, god knows both of them are quite skilled in both arenas), just means that I have had ample opportunity to practice what will henceforth be known as Expressive Glaring. I can’t help myself. If I have to restrain myself from making sarcastic comments (and both of them induced me to just such restraint in one fashion or another) it’s going to have to come out somewhere. And, apparently, that somewhere is my facial expression.

But, you know, if getting to glare out my feelings at someone who is doing something weirdly painful to me, or that I just can’t believe they’re doing, means that I’m going to get hurt harder, or longer… it’s totally worth the trade-off. Sometimes, in fact, it’s kind of a win-win.

Although the clothespin incident of a few years back did train me, by and large, to stop sticking out my tongue.

*And man do people gloat when they reduce me into babbling incoherency.

 


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