Secret Confessions of a Smart Girl

I recently did a little shopping*.

The trip was motivated by the fact that my girlfriend’s big blue cock was a bit too big for my liking, at least for extended playtime, and so I wanted to acquire a harnessable dildo that was more Rona sized. I’m not entirely certain I succeeded, but while I was shopping I also engaged in a little pre-emptive wish fulfillment.

I keep writing stories with remote control vibrators. Turning over that level of control to someone, possibly in a public or semi-public place, is a relatively long standing element of my fantasy life. It’s exciting just to imagine getting worked up solely for someone else’s amusement, having to control my reactions, becoming more and more desperate to jump them, and the like. I used to get all hot and bothered just looking at remote control toys in catalogs, and so I decided that I really should just acquire one because not having one made it much less likely that such a fantasy would ever come true.

This, however, is not a story about the remote control vibrator.

This is the story about the third thing I purchased - an alien rabbit.

I don’t know how I got to my ripe old age without ever having a rabbit-style vibrator, but I did - I never bought one and in my two years of working as a sex toy reviewer, I never came across one (so to speak.) People evangelized about them, but I was always weirded out by their little animal shapes (and particularly disturbed by a dolphin variant that actually made dolphin noises. Bad Idea. I actually screamed and ran out of the room when the demonstrator turned it on.) It was, however, clear to me that I should probably try one at some point. I am, after all, enormously fond of penetration, and the thought of a nice battery operated cock that would actually move around inside of me of it’s own electronic will was an exciting one. So,since I had a good discount coupon and was placing an order anyway…. I bought the alien rabbit.

I chose the alien rabbit for my first foray with a vibrator of its species for two reasons 1)it appealed to my tentacle porn fantasies (I, II) and 2) the shaft itself moves instead of just containing rotating beads. Together, those two qualities seemed like they would make the alien rabbit an excellent accessory to my fantasy life.

Unfortunately, when it arrived, I was in a blue period. I was depressed enough that I wasn’t particularly interested in sex. Still, though, I didn’t want to put it away in the drawer without at least testing it out, so I concocted a bit of a submissive fantasy to induce myself to use it. I was being told to insert it, and I would not be allowed to take it out until I had had at least one orgasm.

Helping along my fantasy was the fact that the toy is slightly bigger than I might generally prefer, which led to a nice sense of violation as I lubricated it and slowly slipped it in while protesting my discomfort and disinterest. The discomfort and sense of violation were starting to turn me on on their own (I may be a pervert), but the toy itself was also pretty damn impressive. I orgasmed within about 5 seconds of hitting the switch. As I put it later, when raving about the thing, it took me from zero to orgasm in less than 15 seconds - most of which was used up during the process of insertion. I didn’t even have time to start the vibration on my clit.

Thus, I declare my little alien rabbit to be very pleasing indeed. So pleasing, in fact, that I feel like I might need to work with a different sort of fantasy next time I use it, or at least a different set of rules. The whole experience, after all, was a bit overwhelming. It might be pretty awful to have to keep using it after that first orgasm.

Maybe I should go find out.
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*For the record, nothing in this post is what I was talking about in my last post

I’m wearing my slutty pants this week. My play-slutty pants that is. So far I have 2 (or 3) play dates scheduled in the next 7 days, both of which I am really looking forward to. One is going to involve singletails & submission and the other one is going to involve needles and distraction by The Adorable Girl. I have no idea what said distraction will entail, but as long as she’s involved in it it will probably be both goofy and enjoyable. The third one may be postponed for a week so that I can travel up to the Northern Lands for a few days, where I already have one play date (presumably involving my being mind-fucked, since that’s what she seems to enjoy) and one actual date* (presumably involving no type of fucking at all, sadly enough) scheduled, and I am hoping to have the chance to attack a few more people while I am there**. I’m getting tired just thinking about it!

I can’t decide if it would be really great to always be this socially active or if I would never get any work done at all. As it is, I must now force myself to get at least two weeks ahead on all my contract writing so that I don’t feel guilty if I get nothing at all done while I’m in travel mode (not to mention write the 4 articles that are due while I’ll be out of town). Huzzah motivation!

Speaking of getting work done, this week I got a really nice bunch of sex toys in the mail for review. The Lucid Dreams #54 is my second vibrator from the collection (the first being the #69) and if these two are anything to go by, Doc Johnson deserves to be a very wealthy company indeed. They’re both shaped really, um, effectively, and if you ever get around to turning them on they are also reasonably powerful and quiet. The vibrators are also waterproof, which is a glorious thing since the only downside to these toys is that the material they’re made of smells completely vile. The company would do well to let the things outgas for a week or two before boxing them up and sending them out to distributors. The other exciting toy for the week was a glass dildo. I’ve never had a glass dildo before, even though I’ve heard many people sing their praises - for, among other things, their ability to take and hold temperature changes. I apologize for not believing all of you earlier, because … wow. The combination of the weight and the fact that it’s made up of an utterly unyielding material is rather intense, and go well with fantasies involving violation and domination. At least they do for me. My third toy of the week was a Hitachi knock off, which does nothing for me as a sex toy but feels absolutely glorious on my overworked muscles. This will be my last round of toys for a few weeks. I owe everyone (including the toy site) paid content and I asked them to hold off sending me anything new until April so that I can get caught up on my obligations.

I must say, this has turned into an awfully long post for something that was just supposed to be “I get to play a lot, soon, and should therefore have interesting things to talk about!” I would, however, sincerely like to solicit comments on my first footnote. I’ve found coming out about my kink to be relatively awkward in the past***, and I don’t want to fuck this one up.
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*Finally! I’ve been trying to go out with this boy for, depending on how you calculate it, either 2 months or 2 years, and it’s finally going to happen. I hope. If I manage not to muck it up somehow. Can I wait to come out to him as kinky until after we’ve had the date and discover if we like each other as anything other than just friends? I’m pretty sure he already knows I am bisexual. Besides, with this much time for expectation to build, we’ll probably have no chemistry whatsoever.

**As well as hang out with some non-attackable friends and snuggle a small child and some cats. I need my current plans to firm up so I can start sending out the next round of scheduling e-mails.

***One evening in grad school, the girl I was about to have a second date with called for directions to my house and I, in a fit of self revelation, came out about being kinky on the phone. Two hours after she was due to show there was no sign of her, and so I had to invite over a friend to enjoy my stood-up meal of Caesar salad, homemade pasta sauce, cilantro pesto bread, and apple pie. It made me a wee bit paranoid. The food, however, was fantastic.

“Blargh!” I said, as I removed the pink thing from the packaging, “this vibrator comes with a rubber Dalek.”

It was not the most opportune introduction to a vibrator.

After all, most people don’t associate sex and Doctor Who, and if they do it’s more the Doctor and a Sonic Screwdriver rather than a metal encased alien changing “Exterminate, Exterminate.”

And this wasn’t just a Dalek. It was a pink, rubber Dalek with little tentacle things that felt so disturbing on my hand that my initial instinct was to fling it across the room. A little piece of me died when I opened that packaging. A little piece of my soul that was pure and innocent and fair.

I knew my duty, however. I had to test the Pink Pocket Rocket with Stimu-Sleeve. I had to get past the fact that I would be going to bed with a Dalek instead of the dreamy ridiculous 10th doctor. I had to make the blasted thing vibrate.

First, find a battery. That was easy. One AA battery. Nothing strange… nothing alien. No watch batteries or other strange, illicit power devices. Just a standard AA.

I inserted it into the basic pink device, while leaving the Dalek off to the side. The pocket rocket (even it was designed for outer space!) had a strange odor, like baby powder. Perhaps a sign as to its origins?

No. I couldn’t get distracted. I turned it on. Hmm. Interesting. An intense vibration, and those bumps on the clear plastic cover give it a nice tickling sensation against my skin. Hard, strong, like the doctor’s blue glowing tool against my…

Oh. There’s metal underneath. I’m fascinated by the inner workings of alien technology and so remove the plastic cap to explore. It’s a less prickly sensation against my body, and the brass colored tips of the device make me think of cyberpunk pornography and computers jacking into my skin to jack me off. High tech, high style, high arousal.

Finally, it’s time. I can avoid the task no more. I mount the Dalek on the rocket and prepare to blast off into space. Dear lord, when set in motion those little tentacles are less like worms crawling along your skin and more like soft hairs or breath. They flutter against you. The nubs along its body are, as its false name suggests, stimulating. The Dalek… oh, the Dalek… the Dalek!!!!

I embrace my extermination.

My initial plan for this evening was to be ravished.

I was rather looking forward to it. Nonetheless, when the ravishment had to be canceled because of various technical difficulties, I decided to look on the bright side. Lack of ravishment would become an opportunity to get work done before heading down to BRXX this weekend. It would, in fact, abrogate the need to work while I was down there. That would, in turn, hopefully provide more opportunities for kinky decadence.

So I got my work done.

Now I am insanely horny. Even more so than usual.

I am going to try and turn this to the benefit of one or more of my various jobs by writing about sex. Then, when that fails, I will go eat some chocolate, read some porn, and hope that I manage to be ravished sometime in the near future.

Oooh. Or maybe I’ll watch some porn. I forgot that I have two DVDs on the review queue that need to be dealt with. One of the DVDs is even something I requested, and therefore actually want to see. That will be a nice change. Most of the porn I get sent to review is more disturbing than hot. Sadly, I’ve already reviewed all the new sex toys. Have I mentioned how much I love it when masturbation counts as being productive? I mean, I’d do it anyway, but when its for the sake of work it’s twice as good.

Can it be tomorrow yet?