Secret Confessions of a Smart Girl

Lately when I’ve had things on my mind that I want to get off my mind I only have one thing on my mind… fucking.

To which I say, what the fuck?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m quite fond of fucking, but for most of my life I’ve been far more interested in pain than I have been in sex. Not lately. Lately all I’ve been thinking about is sex, and, in particular, sex with penises. Which is not necessarily sex with men. It’s just that my brain has been very cock-centric lately.

And that is odd in and of itself, because while I really enjoy sucking cock, I often prefer to be fucked with other things… like fingers, or whip handles, or knives. But lately, when I want to get out of my head, my preferred methods of travel are low tech. Hands in my hair, teeth in my shoulder, what I’m longing for is to be fucked senseless. A little pain, a lot of control, and my brain too dissolved by desire to even contemplate contemplating anything else.

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Two other thoughts:

1. I need someone to come over to my house right now and tie me up so that I stop injuring myself. In the last hour I’ve spilled boiling water on my thumb and bashed my funny bone into the car door. There are much more pleasant ways to be in pain, and I suspect some of them might start after I were tied up and unable to damage myself further.

2. I resent stealth porn. I was reading “The Queen’s Bastard” while experiencing commercial hair removal, and suddenly found myself in the middle of some incredibly hot implied kinky sex. I had to try and think myself into a cold shower, because that was not the right moment to let myself get turned on as my brain wandered away to follow the implied action. A violent sexual encounter with the master of the house. The servant’s envious hands pressing on the welts left behind, wishing he dared to be so bold. The formerly gentle lover digging his hands into the wounds, asking”Do you like this?” and knowing that the answer is yes.

Hurt me more.

Take out your anger at his residue on my skin.

Let me see how much my pain arouses you and then use my poor aching and abused body until I scream.

…

Um. Yes. That was where I was trying not to go when there was some random woman hanging out in the general vicinity of my bikini area. Still, I’m home now… so I have absolutely no idea why I’m still sitting at the computer when there are perfectly good sex toys in the other room. Bye!!!