Secret Confessions of a Smart Girl

You know, I don’t meet men who I want to jump all that often. Particularly not men who might actually want to jump me back, so I find it particularly sadistic of the Universe to dangle a gorgeous, intelligent, and insanely talented man in front of me and then just yank him right back again. Especially when it does so in a way that I can’t help but be fully supportive of. I really respect people who focus time and energy on their primary relationships in order to keep them healthy when that’s what they need to do, and so I am committed to squashing the little hormones jumping around in my body going “pretty! pretty! waaaaant!” (they sort of look like the Adipose babies from the early fourth season episode of Doctor Who. And they squash really satisfyingly with big gloopy sounds before they come bouncing and squealing right back out again.)

That having been said, damn, I want. But exercising restraint is good for me, and it’s very nice to have new friends who a) can be drooled over mentally, b) are really fun to hang out and be ridiculous with, and c) have their OWN awesome friends who you get to meet and hang around with. I’m perfectly capable of contentedly lusting after friends who I can’t have when it’s in the form of a Happy Fun Crush. I can even restrain myself from biting them, although it’s really hard. Hanging out with said man, and several of his utterly fabulous friends, last night, I was overcome with the nearly-overwhelming urge to bite him on the arm no fewer then three times and had to settle for smacking him with a pillow, or pinching him, instead. I am such a child. A violent child with very little control over her baser instincts.

Certain types of people make me very frisky. It’s nice to have some of those locally, especially when life has been so stressful as of late. The Adorable Girl is like that too, although I haven’t seen her lately because I am LAAAAAME (and busy, but mostly lame). Affectionate friendships are a really important part of my life. I’m an extremely touchy feely person with the people I care about. I tend to touch even my completely platonic friends a lot (well, the ones who are okay with that.) But I love having friends who I can roll around with like kittens. It’s not a sexual thing, it feeds my soul to be silly and rambunctious and put my teeth on people and wrestle over the ridiculous and just touch.

Nonetheless… as my body and mind begin to equilibrate to the heightened levels of stress, I’ve got to say that I would really appreciate getting beaten, fucked, or both sometime in the near future, so if the Universe could arrange that, instead of simply tormenting my hormones, I’d be very, very grateful. ‘K? Thanks. Bye!