More Orientation
When people ask me how I prefer to play, I normally answer that I’m primarily a submissive/bottom/masochist. The key word there is primarily, because I do occasionally switch. The difference, as I mentioned in the previous post, is that for me topping requires a relatively high of sexual attraction to someone. The kind of attraction where I want to fist my hand in their hair and take anything I want from them. Therefore, most of the time, in the rare instances I top, I end up topping women. Or, alternatively, if I’m dating/sleeping with someone who is at all switchy, things tend to devolve into something of a kinky free-for-all in bed. I push them around for a while, then they overpower me and push me around for a while… and so on and so forth until everyone is sweaty and exhausted. If you don’t end up with bruises and sore muscles after sex, I think you’re probably doing something wrong. Either that or you’re in really good shape.
Still, there is the occasional submissive man…
The mechanisms of what attract me to a person are somewhat mysterious to me. I mean, I have a type (highly verbal), but the basic chemistry of desire remains inexplicable. I know plenty of submissive men who are extremely attractive, smart, and fun who I have no real interest in getting my hands or teeth on except in a friendly, affectionate way*. But every once in a while there is one who has the gravitational pull of a star.
There’s this one submissive man in the group of people I hang around with who every time I see I want to get my hands on. I can’t explain it. Something about him just makes me want to shove my hand into his hair and my teeth into his shoulder. It’s not that he’s cute, although he’s very cute, men of similar appearance have done nothing for me in the past. It’s not that he’s nice, although he is. It’s that he has some air about him that just makes you want to do terrible, wonderful things to him. He’s magnetic in a way that wakes up the small toppish part of my soul and makes her want to come out and play. He’s… inspiring.
Still, people like that, and the moods to take advantage of them, come along so rarely that I don’t really consider dominant/top to be a significant part of my sexual identity. Part of that is because even when I feel that way, even when I’m enjoying being on top and in charge, there’s usually a little voice inside of me hoping that, after a while, they’ll fight back and I’ll end up on the bottom again.
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*I bite people because I like them. I even chew on my vanilla friends, when they let me, in an entirely non-sexual manner. I just never grew out of the stage of wanting to put the things I like into my mouth. And some parts on some people, like MayMay’s erector spinae… are damn near irresistible. Tasty tasty back muscles. I claim thee in the name of my teeth!
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on May 24th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I just never grew out of the stage of wanting to put the things I like into my mouth.
Hee. I am the exact same way. Yay oral fixation?
I also apparently inspire people to biting, since I seem to be my friends’ communal chewtoy.
on May 24th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Yay oral fixation! And yay chew toy!
on May 24th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
It’s got to be the squeaking noises. I imagine they are v. entertaining.
on May 24th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I bite people because I like them. I even chew on my vanilla friends, when they let me, in an entirely non-sexual manner. I just never grew out of the stage of wanting to put the things I like into my mouth. … Tasty tasty back muscles. I claim thee in the name of my teeth!
If I quoted this at most people I know, they’d have difficulty believing I didn’t write it myself.
I am so saying “tasty tasty backmuscles, I claim thee in the name of my teeth!” to one of my favorite chew-toys tomorrow
Also, I highly recommend getting your teeth on Orion’s shoulders if you have the chance. Tasty.
on May 24th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
*giggle* Yay for passing on the ridiculousness! And… yes. Very tasty shoulders indeed. Required mad restraint.
on May 25th, 2008 at 6:35 am
What is my erector spinae? I tried to research the topic myself but I got distracted by this sexy picture. If only more of learning anatomy was like that….
on May 25th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Try looking up lattissimus. But the muscles on your back near your spine where I kept biting you. The group is called the erector spinae because they are used to straighten your spine.
on May 25th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I bite people because I like them. I even chew on my vanilla friends, when they let me, in an entirely non-sexual manner.
Okay, you have no idea who I am; I found your blog through a maze of clicks from the Hot Safer Sex blog.
Anyway: I have said almost the exact same thing to people. “I only bite people I like.”. In fact, I just found a boy that’ll let me use him as a scratching post and a chewtoy, and he encourages me to bite him as hard as I can…*purr*.
Thank you for a thoroughly entertaining and intelligent blog, and I hope you don’t mind a comment from random passerby.
on May 25th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
I love comments from random passersby!
(and I’m jealous that you have a chew toy! I want a chew toy. I haven’t seen my most chewable friend in ages!)
on May 26th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
ditto panthyrrr - You have no idea who I am, and I got here by a maze of clicks (from another place where I lurk…). Anyway, I just had to comment on this whole chain of comments, especially beatrice saying she inspires people to biting…my best friend did that to me, and now we use each other as chewtoys…except her monogamous vanilla boyfriend might be upset about this for some reason… The point was, though, that I think “people who never grew past the stage of wanting to put the things they like into their mouths” are much more common than we think, and it’s also contagious.