Secret Confessions of a Smart Girl

My primary rediscovery of this weekend is that it’s a good thing to be in touch with your buttons. If you know what they are, and make a reasonable attempt at expressing them clearly, there is a far better chance that they will be pushed. Repeatedly. With intensely satisfying results.

After this weekend, I feel like I have to annotate the past two weeks of this blog. Among other things, I’ve now had (and enjoyed! Go figure!) vanilla sex with a man (who will henceforth be known as The Defender of Vanilla Sex - TDoVS), and discovered why people like sleeping with their friends. It’s so bizarre, for me, to have had a sexual experience that induced absolutely no stress or regret. It was just fun… and then rather insanely button pushingly hot. Plus, there were interludes of hysterical laughter. I am a big fan of hysterical laughter in the bedroom. As long as no one falls out of the bed, hits a body part on a solid piece of furniture, or gets head bonked in the eye.

I think the lack of stress falls solidly on the openness of communication. It seems obvious that being open and up front about things makes things easier, but it is often extremely difficult for me to do so when it comes to sexual issues. With TDoVS, however, I have absolutely no problems being completely up front since we’ve discussed pretty much everything under the sun. I am going to take this as an object lesson. Before sleeping with someone, I need to have multiple frank conversations about sex so that there is no awkwardness about expressing myself in the heat of the moment. Or at least no awkwardness that isn’t related to my brain having been befuddled by desire.

It was a good weekend for connections. I saw a lot of old friends, made some new friends, had some good play time (which I will talk about in a later post), and now have an official play date for BRXX to hook up with the person in Boston who I had really wanted to try and play with this weekend (who was not the person I did play with this weekend, or the person I rather thought I might get a chance to play with this weekend… or… lets just say that my life so doesn’t suck right now.) I also saw someone who I have half-heartedly been crushing on for a few years, and discovered that the main reason I haven’t even made an attempt to do something about it is essentially invalid. So… there are things to be considered there as well (and no, that person isn’t any of the people from the first sentence. Complex much, life?) All things considered, I rate the entire 3 days an A+. It really should only get an A-, but I’m willfully blocking the several hideous hours I spent on the Trolley From Hell out of my brain in order to reorder the universe to my personal satisfaction.